Self-care and Elder Care: How to take care of yourself while you are caring for an elder Photo by John Moeses Bauan Deciding when and how to step in to help an elderly family member, especially when they live far away or are emotionally distant, can be difficult. This website offers understanding and ideas for accessing support. This presentation contains services in the New Jersey area. If you need services in another state, please use the listed resources as an example of what may be available in that state as well. You are not alone on this journey.